While matrimonial websites in India have been in business for nearly two decades, lately they are being used for deceitful activities by cyber cons targeting prospective brides and grooms.
Recently, a Mumbai-based working professional in her early 30s, who had her profile registered on a matrimonial website, shared her experience. She said on condition of anonymity, “I was befriended by a person on the website, with a promise of marriage. He claimed that he worked in the Gulf and was drawing salary in lakhs. Within a few weeks, he requested me to pay Rs 80,000 into his bank account as part of settlement with the airport authorities, as they were refusing to allow the parcel containing expensive gifts, which he had sent me from the Gulf. As soon as the money got transferred into his account, his phone was found to be switched off and I couldn’t trace him anymore.”
In such crimes, the perpetrators approach the victim with a marriage proposal on online portals, furnish fake information, and lure them to part with huge sums of money. In rare cases, the victims are men but mostly, it is the highly educated, single, working women who are preyed upon by the offenders.
Another woman, in her early 40s, working as an estate agent, was befriended on a matrimonial website by an NRI widower businessman. They decided to get married. When he landed in her city, he told her that his belongings were stolen at the airport and he urgently needed few thousands of rupees to return to his hometown. Believing him, the woman paid him Rs 10,000. He left her promising to return the money after reaching home. “But I never got a call from him after he left nor was his phone ever reachable. I didn’t have his residence or official address either,” said the woman who didn’t want to reveal her name.
SOCIAL STRUCTURE
Dr Balsing Rajput, IPS, Superintendent of Police, Cyber, Maharashtra, while speaking on the nature of the fraud, explained that though sophisticated technology is required in executing such crimes, the perpetrators are well aware of our social structure too. “In these cases, technology is not be blamed per se, social engineering or psychological deception are the main methods, which exploit human weaknesses. The scamsters exploit the prevailing socio-cultural norms and manipulate the victims,” he points out.
A large number of women are pursuing higher education or working on high positions. They find it difficult to find an eligible partner in their family network. Add to it the fact that the prescription of marriage is more stringent for women. Society refuses to accept that a grown-up woman can stay single by choice. They are stigmatised and constantly pressured by the family, relatives and society at large to get married.
And as women cross 30s, they realise there is a shrinking pool of eligible men. “They feel scrutinised by friends, family members and others for their singlehood and feel isolated. The crooks target such vulnerable single women, who have the spending power and are well versed with online financial transactions,” said Dr Rajput.
A single woman is a target of many across cultures and boundaries. Women are often projected as dumb, weak, powerless, submissive, lacking common sense and decision making and leadership skills. “A patriarchal society, such as ours, will always favour a system which keeps women powerless and character assassination is the most effective tool,” said social scientist Dr Nitin Lata Waman.
Another factor is that working women, staying alone in other cities generally do not seek regular support or guidance from parents or reliable sources to verify or check the background of prospective grooms they meet online. “As these women get a flood of invites to connect once they register on websites, they feel overjoyed, because they are not used to this kind of response prior to their registration. The crooks put up several profiles matching the interests shared by the woman in her details,” added Dr Rajput.
The prejudice against single people and the hysteria about marriage are an outgrowth of our insecurities. “Parents should understand that their daughter has her own life beyond marriage and adjustments. Girls should not be in a hurry to get married to someone they met online, just because they are under family and social pressure,” said Dr Waman.
“The emotional vacuum in their real life is easily pacified in the virtual world. Anonymously satisfying their psychological needs leads to satisfying physical needs as well. This then becomes a habit which leads them to connect with multiple partners to seek solace,” added Sonali Patankar, founder of Responsible Netism.
THE MODUS OPERANDI
The criminals invariably furnish false information, claim to be MNC officials or NRIs. Once they start interaction with the women, they provide emotional support and send gifts to impress them. “After the trust is gained, the woman is lured into sharing money, either through her savings or by borrowing from others. It is observed that mostly women, who have high aspirations from partner regarding salary and financial status, fall into the trap of such fake identities,” added Dr Rajput.
“Emotional state of mind and experiences of past relationships make these single women very vulnerable in this anonymous, secret space provided by internet and so trust builds on very easily,” said Patankar adding, “The love, attention, pampering they get, is an instant gratifier and encourages them to explore these relationships further.”
THE AFTERMATH
Often, being cheated in such cases is viewed as the woman’s fault. The stigma attached to being a victim prevents many from reporting it to the police or even speaking it out to their family members and friends. Hence many such cheating cases go unreported. “In some cases, complaints of such frauds are sent through emails as victims do not want to come out to follow up on the matter. This boosts the culprit’s confidence and strength to continue committing such crimes,” added Dr Rajput.
HOW TO BOOK THE CRIMINALS?
The nature of these crimes is such that even if investigating agencies follow all the standard procedures, they are difficult to solve. “Though all the three aspects of the investigation, involving human element (victim), technology (websites or social media platforms) and processes (laws and procedures) are vital, the weakest is the human element, as they can be lured and influenced,” added Dr Rajput.
There are seven to eight stakeholders which are part of the investigation process, including the victim, accused, police, court, prosecution, forensic experts, technology experts. “Collecting digital evidence is an obvious stumbling block. If the victim saves her conversations, either chat transcripts or emails, it helps otherwise, retrieving the details is difficult because social media companies have headquarters in foreign countries, obtaining court orders in multiple jurisdictions — and following legal assistance treaties signed by India with other countries —leads to cases remaining stagnant for months on end,”added Dr Rajput.
LESSONS TO LEARN
Before uploading profiles on such sites, one should ensure that the site provides them privacy. The clients should also verify all the facts about the other party before proceeding ahead. Such websites play a positive role in bringing couples together. However, it is very important to go slow, they should not get involved in a courtship which involves ‘sexting’ or webcam chatting with the online match, or transferring money before finding out if the person is bonafide.
